


Feels Pretty Damn Good

by supernatural9917



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words, Dean Winchester Talks About Feelings, Episode Fix-It: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff, Jack Kline Saves Castiel from the Empty, M/M, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, because screw that finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:00:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29399436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernatural9917/pseuds/supernatural9917
Summary: After defeating Chuck, Sam and Dean finally have the freedom to live their lives as they choose, but it doesn't feel as good as they expected. Something- or rather, someoneis missing...
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 7
Kudos: 87
Collections: SQZ Fanzine Vol. 1





	Feels Pretty Damn Good

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the [SQZ Fanzine](https://supernaturalquaranzine.tumblr.com/), which raised a crazy amount of money for Direct Relief and is has volume 2 in the works!
> 
> Like many people, I hate everything that happened from when they beat Chuck to the end, but as I can't scrub it from my brain and pretend it never happened (unfortunately), I'm joining in the crowd of fix-it fics. There is domestic fluff and good bro talks, so please enjoy! Thanks as usual to athaclena for the usual hot beta action ;)

'We're finally free,' Dean says, squeezing Sam's shoulder. They exchange a glance and stand up, walking away from the table and towards the garage by unspoken agreement. Sam's words rang true: it’s  _ too _ quiet in the bunker, and they suddenly feel a need to get out.

They've been driving the Kansas backroads for a while before Sam breaks the silence. 'There's one thing I don't understand.'

'One thing?' Dean asks, feeling smug at the Clue reference. Sam just rolls his eyes.

'How come you didn't ask Jack to bring Cas back?'

Dean grips the steering wheel tightly. 'Why didn't you?'

'I don't know, I just… I guess I figured you would, and then Jack was gone.' The leather under Dean's fingers actually squeaks. 'You asked Chuck to, so I thought-'

'Jack said he wouldn't interfere. Thought that was pretty clear.'

'Yeah, in the world, but Cas… Jack loves Cas. Why wouldn't he do that one thing?'

'I don't know, Sam,' Dean snaps. 'Why don't you just call up the new God and ask him?'

'Dude, chill. What's your deal?' Dean makes an odd strangled noise in his throat and pulls the Impala to the side of the road. 'Dean?'

'Cas made a deal.'

'Yeah, you told me. In exchange for the Empty not taking Jack, right?' Dean just inclines his head slightly. 'Was his time up, or did he cash in early to protect you?'

The muscles in Dean's jaw flex. 'It wasn't a time thing.' Sam is tempted to ask more questions, but he stays silent, hoping Dean will volunteer the information. It takes a minute, but eventually he continues. 'It would only take him once he was happy.'

'Okaaaay… so Billie was on the verge of killing you both, everybody was being poofed out of existence by Chuck, and somehow he was  _ happy _ ?' Dean doesn't answer, just stares straight ahead with his grip still so tight on the steering wheel that his knuckles are white. Sam takes a minute to think, and then asks softly, as if speaking to a spooked horse, 'Dean, did… did something finally happen between you and Cas?'

Dean's head whips around, his eyes wide and jaw slack. 'What?'

'You know. Did you two finally…' He waves his hand vaguely. 'Admit stuff?'

'What are… what are you talking about?' Dean croaks out.

'I'm not blind, Dean. You and Cas have always had a different- what was it, a more  _ profound _ bond? I just figured you guys were waiting until the world wasn't ending to do something about it.' He huffs out a sarcastic laugh. 'Or a deathbed confession, I guess.' Dean's nostrils flare. 'Oh shit. Was that it? You guys thought you were going to die, you confessed your feelings, and the Empty came and took him? Fuck, I'm sorry, Dean.' He tries to put his hand on Dean's shoulder, but Dean shakes him off.

'You… you  _ knew _ he felt…  _ that _ for me?'

'It wasn't that hard to figure out, Dean. I think I caught on somewhere between him rebelling against heaven for you and giving up an angel army for you.'

'Well, good for you, college boy. 'Cause I sure as hell didn't know.'

'Seriously, Dean? You didn't know, or you didn't let yourself believe it?'

Dean doesn’t answer for a long time, and when he does, his voice is thick with emotion. ‘I didn’t even know angels  _ could _ feel that way. And even if they could…  _ me _ ? Doesn’t make sense.’ He turns away and mutters again under his breath, ‘Doesn’t make sense.’

‘You’re an idiot.’ Dean can’t argue with that, so he doesn’t. ‘So what actually happened?’

‘He had this whole speech, man. He said he made this deal where the Empty would take him when he was happy, but he didn’t even know what that would look like, because the one thing he wanted…’ He swallows hard, feeling like he’s been punched in the gut by the memory. ‘The one thing he wanted he knew he couldn’t have.’ 

‘You?’

Dean ignores the question and carries on. ‘Then he said maybe he didn’t have to have it to be happy, he just had to feel it and say it. He started talking about how I wasn’t just some killer, that everything I do is because of love, and that he only knew how to care about people because of me. That he cared because I cared. And then he…’ Dean takes a deep breath. ‘He said he loved me.’ He looks at Sam out of the corner of his eye, and sees that the big hormonal moose is all misty-eyed, like Dean’s been telling him about the plot of _The Notebook_ or something (not that Dean has seen _The Notebook_ , Netflix started playing it automatically and it was just on in the background while he cleaned his guns, that’s all).

‘Jesus, Dean. That’s actually really beautiful. What did you say?’

‘Uh.’

The dewy romantic expression rapidly turns into Bitchface Number Three. ‘Oh my god. Don’t tell me you didn’t say anything.’

‘I barely had time to do anything! I told him not to do it, but then he just said goodbye and like, threw me across the room so the Empty could just grab him and Billie and suck them into the freakin’ void! What was I supposed to do?’

‘I don’t know, maybe tell him you love him back, you jerk!’

‘Not all of us are good with feelings, Samantha!’ Dean snaps back. ‘In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve said the L-word to pie and my car more often than I’ve said it to my own family. Nevermind to-’ He cuts himself off with a sharp shake of his head.

‘But you do, don’t you?’ Sam asks in a gentler tone.

‘Yeah.’

No reply is needed, so Sam doesn’t give one. They drive in silence for a while longer, until the stillness is broken by Sam’s phone ringing. His eyes widen at whatever the other person is saying.

‘Dean! Turn around, we need to get back to the bunker!’ Back into the phone, he says, ‘We’ll be back in-’

‘Half an hour,’ Dean supplies, and Sam repeats it before hanging up. ‘What was that all about?’

‘Just drive. The faster the better.’

Dean smirks, but doesn’t say anything. Eileen had promised to come back to the bunker, so he assumes that she’s finally arrived. 

Except when they pull up, there’s no sign of a new car, either outside or in the garage. Sam hurries out of the Impala, urging Dean to hurry. Curiosity gets the better of him, and he jogs after his brother. ‘Seriously, dude, what got up your ass?’ Dean calls out, but Sam doesn’t bother to answer. Dean almost runs into him when he stops short at the doorway, but his protest dies on his lips when he looks past Sam into the war room.

‘Hello!’ Jack says cheerfully, doing his usual dorky wave. Dean barely notices him, though, not even bothering to say hello back as he sprints to the other figure standing next to Jack. 

'You stupid son of a bitch!' Dean curses as he throws his arms around a newly resurrected Castiel.

Jack looks on proudly, explaining that he had made a deal with the Empty: it would keep Castiel's grace, but his body and the human soul that had somehow formed in him would return to earth and, when he eventually died, go to Heaven like any human. Dean tells Jack he did good without bothering to let go of Castiel; the hug just seems to go on and on. Jack just piles in to make a group hug for his goodbye and assures them that he'll stop by to visit every once in a while. Sam gets his own hug and then Jack is gone.

'You stupid son of a bitch,' Dean says again, softer, muffled against Cas's neck.

'Dean,' Cas says, and it sounds like a sigh, or a prayer, and Sam wonders if this will finally be the moment when they let themselves go.

Dean pulls out of the hug only far enough to put his hands on Cas's face and lean their foreheads together. 'Can't do it without you, Cas. Can't lose you again. I love you.'

'Never again, Dean,' Cas promises, and then it happens. Dean closes the scant distance between them to claim Cas's lips. A surprised whimper escapes Cas's throat before he starts kissing back eagerly. The kiss deepens, and Cas pushes Dean against, and then up onto, the map table. Dean's legs go around Cas's waist and yeah, Sam is feeling more than a little awkward now. He clears his throat and the two of them startle apart.

'Yeah, thought you'd forgotten I was here,' Sam smirks. 'Glad you're back, Cas, and I'm happy for you guys. Now I'm going to go to my room and watch Netflix with my noise cancelling headphones, so, uh, you guys have fun.' He offers them a quick salute and hightails it to his room with a smile on his face.

The next morning, Sam comes back from his run to find Dean at the stove with Cas hugging him from behind, his chin hooked over Dean's shoulder to watch whatever is happening in the pan. 'See how the bubbles are popping now? That's when you flip it over.' Sam spies a pancake being flipped with a spatula when he grabs his smoothie out of the fridge.

'Mornin' guys. There enough pancakes for me too?'

'Obviously. Should be all done in ten if you wanna shower first. Unless your hair care routine takes too long.'

'Shut up, jerk,' Sam replies, but there’s no heat in it, and he’s all smiles. A quick shower later and he gets to enjoy the sight of Dean and Castiel pausing between bites to exchange kisses. They stop when they realise he’s there, but the constant touching and shy smiles between them make their new relationship status just as clear. ‘So how does it feel to be human again, Cas?’

‘Much better than last time,’ Castiel replies warmly. ‘I was given a choice, for one thing, and I’m warm, comfortable, well-fed… and wanted,’ he finished more quietly, resting his head on Dean’s shoulder. 

Dean visibly stiffens, clearly remembering the last time and making himself sick over it. ‘You were never unwanted, Cas. It was just-’

‘I know, Dean. I meant  _ wanted _ .’ He raises one eyebrow and gives Dean a look that has him turning pink to the tips of his ears.

‘Let’s go watch a movie!’ he says very unconvincingly as he stands and all but drags Castiel out of the kitchen, leaving behind half a pancake as a testament to the fact that watching a movie is nothing but a euphemism. Sam chuckles and adds the leftovers to his own stack; no sense wasting food.

The next few days pass pretty companionably, with Sam sending Eileen regular updates on how adorable Dean and Castiel are being. She had asked for a bit of time to recover from having been Thanosed by Chuck and brought back by Jack, but told Sam that she would be demanding her car back, preferably delivered by a tall, handsome chauffeur… though she assured him (with a wink emoji) that he was welcome to come too. 

By the end of the week, Sam is contemplating going to visit Jody and the girls while he waits, just to give the lovebirds a bit of space, but before he can finish the email proposing it, Eileen sends him a risqué photo and a motel address in Hastings. Jody can definitely wait, he thinks as he saves that one to the drafts folder for another time. It only takes him a few minutes to pack a bag, and then he’s heading into the kitchen to grab a snack for the road.

Luckily, Dean is in there, wrapped in his dead guy robe and whistling while he fixes up a tray with two coffee cups and two plates piled high with bacon, eggs and toast. Looks like Castiel is getting breakfast in bed, and it makes Sam smile to see his brother so happy and domestic.

‘Mornin’, Sammy,’ Dean says with a grin that drops slightly when he sees Sam’s bag. ‘Going somewhere?’

‘Eileen’s ready to meet, so I thought I’d head out for a few days.’

‘Bout time. Go get her, tiger, and use protection. I’m too young to be an uncle.’

‘You’re really not, jerk,’ Sam teases back. ‘And don’t worry, I’m taking my angel blade.’ They both laugh at that memory, and Dean gives his brother a congratulatory pat on the shoulder. 

‘You gonna bring her back here after?’

‘Uh, I don’t know. Probably eventually, but I thought you’d like to have the place to yourselves for a while.’

Dean’s face falls. ‘Sammy, you know you’re not in the way or anything, right? I mean, Cas and I have been kinda wrapped up in everything ‘cause it’s all new, but I didn’t mean for you to feel like you’re not still the most important-’

‘Dean,’ Sam interrupts before his brother can say anything stupid. ‘I don’t feel threatened by your relationship with Cas. If anything, I think it’s good that you can focus on something  _ you  _ want for a change. All that codependency crap we’ve had for years is… well, it’s crappy, man. It was never healthy for either of us. We can still be close without being in each other’s pockets, and it’s definitely better without all that letting the world burn to save each other stuff we spent too long doing.’

‘It was my job,’ Dean says with a frown.

‘It shouldn’t have been. We got dealt a shitty hand and did what we had to do, but now we’ve got a new hand, hell, a whole new  _ dealer _ , and we can live for ourselves a little bit. Wasn’t that the whole point?’

‘Yeah. Yeah, it was. I guess it’ll just take me a little while to get used to it.’

‘Me too. But knowing you’ve got Cas makes it a lot easier for me.’ He puts his hands on Dean’s shoulders and makes Dean look him in the eye. ‘We  _ will _ be coming back, and we can all make longer-term plans then. I have some ideas about how we can use this place as a hunter HQ, and I’m also ready to think about living somewhere that has windows. But we can decide all of that together later. Right now, I have a beautiful woman waiting for me at a motel, wearing only strategically placed flannel, so I’m gonna head out. You have an ex-angel to serve breakfast in bed to and whatever that’s going to lead to, so I’m  _ really _ gonna head out.’ He pulls his laughing brother into a hug. ‘I’ll see you soon.’

‘Yeah. Have fun.’ 

Sam grabs a smoothie from the fridge and starts walking out. ‘Don’t have sex on the map table!’ he calls out behind him.

‘No promises!’ Dean shouts back.

Freedom feels pretty damn good.


End file.
